Ego Trippin'

Last night I had a couple of dreams that were of personal significance.  Both related to the same situation, the death and consumption of the Ego.  It's as though the Universe wants us all to the know that several are going through this transition in order to allow our true selves to be revealed.  The essence of who we are and created to be is now preparing to take center stage.  That shell we once used to define our being is cracking allowing us to no longer hide behind a false representation.

In my dream, I was walking out of my maternal grandparents' home, down the front stairs.  And a guide was walking with me, talking to me about healing.  At one point I think the guide turned into my father.  Different people were sitting on the side of the stairs not saying anything.  Eventually I came to my stepmom who for years I called Mama.  She's been in my life since I was 3.  I came to her and said it was time for her to begin real healing.


So she moved my hand from her shoulder as I spoke.  However I was directed to keep talking to her.  Mama stood up to walk down the rest of the stairs and the sidewalk, and I followed still talking.  We ended at a cemetery in the driveway.  Tombstones with my father and brother's names were there.  I said, "You may not want to talk to me, but Daddy says it's time that you really heal.  He wants that for you Mama."  She began to cry.  Not just out of grief, but knowing he was right.  She's a mother who has been stoic through the trials of death.  Losing a husband to a drunk driver and a son to a murderer was not in the book of life she saw for herself.  This was not how life was supposed to be for a child of God.  See she's a pastor and most would think these kinds of trials would not be for her, but one day she is to see that she's growing into a beacon for those without faith.  She's going to come to the understanding that her mission is to guide them to a deeper understanding and healing.  But first, she has to go through that process herself.  And the Guide said it was time.

I then went to an open field.  Was given a bottle and was instructed to eat the cork that kept the water inside.  I did as instructed.  As I chewed, the Guide said, "This is the death of the Ego.  Now you are open for the flow."  From there I woke up. 

In the spirit of transparency...because of a dispute about property, we aren't seeing eye to eye.  The Universe is working that out and hopefully they can see I'm doing as I was guided by the Divine and my ancestors. This was supposed to happen, even the rift in order for us to choose to mend or for us to part.  Both are a choice and both are for our growth.  All of us.  The Tower comes to shake the old established ways of living built on a foundation that was never intended to last.

To be honest, I was not intending to write this entry until a nudge was given by a facebook group member. That served as confirmation of the need to not only break this down for myself, but those who will later read the words.  Doubt lives in the Ego, as well as Fear.  It's okay to have those fleeting thoughts come, but they are only to be passing visitors, not permanent residents.

After my morning prayers, Spirit guided me to one of the five bibles I have in my bookcase.  Yes, F.I.V.E.  Another post for another day.  Because my old one fell apart after a lot of use, a newer one called out to me.  Like days of old, I unzipped and said a silent," just point me to where I need to go" prayer.  The Book of Daniel was the directed path.  First thought "Aight. We're about to go into the lions den now huh?"   Silly me.  Silly child.

You see, the story I was supposed to read was concerning Nebuchadnezzar's dream.     I'll place the passage later but the over all story was he had a dream that shook him to the core.  After awakening, Nebuchadnezzar could not fully remember what he dreamed, but had the foreboding feeling, so he called for all of the magicians, seers, oracles, Morpheus, Neo...you get the drift.  He called upon anyone that could give him the meaning of the dream and ultimately give him comfort.  Well, they came and could not tell him what was dreamed.  Since they didn't know the what, there was no way they could know the why.  One even said that no others of their kind are even asked this from those in the ruling houses, sooooooo basically, back up Neb.  Well the king was not pleased with the lack of magic, and ordered all to be killed and their houses destroyed.

Ego will have you wanting to decimate any and everything that gets in the way of it being able to maintain total control.  When feeling as though the end of its reign is near, Ego will try to ensure that you feel without it at the helm, you will have and be nothing.  Ego will make you believe there is no after.  Ego takes comfort in you fearing a possible nothingness without it than faith in a possibility of what can be with just the true you.

So Daniel gets word of what was decreed and he went back to brotheren from Judah, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah.  (They are most widely known by the names given to them by their oppressor...I mean the king Nebuchadnezzar as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.)   The four came together and prayed that the Most High would allow them to see what should be secret in order to prove His might and save the many.  This was after first thanking Him for the goodness bestowed upon the children of the Earth.  

Daniel was then brought before the king and told him of the dream.  It was of a person that had a head of gold, body of iron and feet of clay (mixed with iron).  And there was a stone cut from a mountain with only hands that first broke down the golden head, then broke down the iron, and lastly the clay.  When the stone dropped, a mountain was formed that took over the land.  He later told the king this represented him and the kingdoms to follow.  They would be weaker and all fall, only leaving the kingdom of the Most High to be formed.

"Stop Here," is what I was told by Spirit.  And so I did.

So Amuri, what does that have to do with the Death of the Ego?  That statue represents who we are to the outside world, even that outside world of self.  Some think highly while others are in the middle and the rest have low thoughts of self.  Each is how we rate our esteem. 

The gold is high.  It's based upon having acquired things.  Not just of material value but even information.  When we have it, we don't share.  When we have it, we use it to feed our egos and not to replenish the soul.  It's used for the feel good surface level only.  Having gained material wealth or even superior intellect only makes you a heavyweight in a shallow pool.  Ego has to go.

The iron is the middle.  While seeming balanced, iron is used as armor.  This means because of hurts from experience, you have built up a wall of defense.  In doing so, nothing gets in, not even the good.  You walk around with the proverbial chip on your shoulder, proving that there's no stopping your ability to push through.  Pushing through all the time means you can't heal what's really going on within.  That armor becomes a weight holding you down, not keeping you maintained.  It's a ball and chain that keeps you forever stuck in the bottom of an ocean, drowning.  Ego has to go.

At the bottom is clay.  Clay is formed by someone else.  Clay only knows the purpose it was handed and nothing else.  Clay doesn't move outside of it's designated space because the gotch is, clay is easily broken, thus too fragile to try.  Because it isn't a sterile material on it's own, clay can be a house of infestation.  Ego has to go.

Once all remnants of the Ego has been destroyed, your High Self can then rise up and take over.   That is, if you have taken the time to nurture and nurish it, even when Ego reigned seemingly supreme.  What does that mean?  While Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah dwelled in the land of Bablyon, they were given foods from the king to eat and wine to drink.  However, the four wanted to keep their bodies clean.  They were strengthening their spirits and connections to the Divine even under the Ego's rule.  And when the time came for being tested, each had the fortitude and faith to survive whatever Ego threw their way.  

When I ate the cork, consumed the ego,  I was then able to allow my connection to the Divine to be reopened.  I was the block in that charge, not anyone else or any other circumstance.  Just. Me.  

So while you are seeing the unraveling of the masked self, take the time feed the soul beneath.  Deal with your triggers, your pains, your lack.  Then move from that to see you were created a whole being, to become greater than your first moment of breath.  Once you realize that, you consume the ego.  You integrate it in the proper way into your life, not as the ruler of it.  And then, the Divine Connection will be restored; making you super charged.


RIP Super Ego